Starting school is a major milestone, and while most children are excited to join in, motivation plays a big role in how well they adjust to learning and new routines. Many young children are used to working towards external rewards: stickers, praise, treats, or simply doing something because an adult asked them to.

But in school, they’ll gradually be expected to work more independently, stay focused on tasks and take pride in their own progress. Helping children move from relying on external motivation to developing their own intrinsic motivation is a key part of school readiness, and one that can be gently encouraged at home.

What’s the Difference Between External and Intrinsic Motivation?

External motivation is when a child does something because they expect a reward or want to avoid a consequence. For example, “I’ll tidy up if I get a sticker” or “I’ll sit quietly because I don’t want to miss out on playtime.”

Intrinsic motivation is when a child does something because it feels satisfying or meaningful to them. “I’m proud I finished that puzzle,” or “I want to learn how to write my name.”

Children naturally start out being more externally motivated – it’s how they begin to understand expectations and rules. But gradually helping them take ownership of their learning and behaviour builds confidence, resilience and a love of learning – all traits that help children thrive in the classroom.

Why Intrinsic Motivation Matters for School

In Reception and beyond, teachers encourage children to engage with learning for its own sake, not just for a reward. Intrinsically motivated children are more likely to:

• Persevere with tricky tasks
• Feel proud of their progress
• Work independently
• Take initiative and make choices
• Bounce back from mistakes

These are all skills that help children settle in, enjoy school and make the most of new learning opportunities.

How Parents Can Support Motivation at Home

Give Children Real Choices

Letting your child choose between two activities or tasks helps them feel in control.

For example: “Would you like to tidy your books or your Lego first?” builds decision-making skills and encourages ownership.

Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results

Praising persistence (“You didn’t give up!”) or strategy (“That was a clever way to try it”) helps children value the process of learning, not just the outcome. This can boost their confidence when tasks get more challenging at school.

Use Visual Reminders of Progress

Instead of focusing on rewards, help your child track their own achievements. A simple sticker chart showing how many books they’ve read or tasks they’ve completed can help them see their growth over time.

Be a Role Model

Talk about the satisfaction you feel from completing something, even when it’s tough: “I’m glad I finished tidying up. It feels good to get it done.” This helps children link effort with a positive internal reward.

Create Opportunities for Independence

Let your child take responsibility for little things – packing their school bag, choosing their clothes, or helping to set the table. When they do something well, reflect it back to them: “You remembered your water bottle all by yourself!”

Keep External Rewards in Perspective

There’s nothing wrong with stickers or praise, they’re great for kickstarting motivation. But they work best when paired with conversations that help children reflect on why they did something and how it made them feel. Try saying:

• “You must feel really proud of yourself!”
• “What was the trickiest part?”
• “What helped you keep going?”

These kinds of questions support self awareness and help children tune in to their own sense of achievement.

Final Thoughts for Parents

You don’t need to eliminate rewards or change your whole approach overnight. Helping children develop intrinsic motivation is a gradual process that comes from small, everyday experiences – solving a puzzle, finishing a drawing, building something new, or sticking with a tricky task.

By giving them space to try, supporting their independence and celebrating effort over outcomes, you’re helping your child become a confident, curious learner, ready to embrace school and all it has to offer.