How to Build Resilience in Children
In recent years, a growing number of children have been struggling with their mental health, with issues like depression, anxiety and stress becoming increasingly common. Many children are finding it hard to attend school, with some feeling so anxious that they are unable to go at all.
According to official figures, one in five children and young people aged 8 to 25 in England now has a mental health disorder, which can sometimes result in serious issues like self-harm.
The COVID-19 pandemic and the rise of social media are often blamed for this crisis, but some experts think there’s more to the story. They suggest that a lack of resilience in today’s young people may also play a big role.
Are children now less prepared to handle the everyday challenges that previous generations faced and overcame?
Resilience is the ability to adapt, cope, and bounce back from setbacks. It is a key part of growing up and developing emotionally. Research shows that resilient children are better at dealing with life’s difficulties, adjusting to change, forming strong relationships, and seeking help when needed. Luckily, there are plenty of ways parents can help their children build this important skill, and one of the most effective methods is through play.
The Role of Play in Building Resilience
Supporting your child’s mental health doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. It can be as simple as choosing the right toys and dedicating time for meaningful play. Play is more than just fun; it’s a vital tool for learning. Through play, children develop crucial skills that help them face challenges, adapt to changes, and build the confidence needed to tackle life’s ups and downs. These skills lay the foundation for emotional and social resilience, enabling children to thrive in different situations.
Key Skills Nurtured Through Play
- Problem Solving: Doing puzzles or building towers encourages children to think critically, experiment with solutions, and approach challenges in a methodical way. This teaches the value of perseverance and determination which is key to building resilience.
- Adaptability: Through creative play, like arts and crafts, children can practise adaptability, learning to adjust their approach when things don’t go according to plan.
- Self-Advocacy: The ability to recognise and communicate one’s own needs and wants in a clear and confident manner. Pretend play and storytelling games help children to express their feelings and ideas confidently.
- Conflict Resolution: Role-play and cooperative activities teach important skills like conflict resolution. Children can practise collaboration, negotiating, and working together to overcome differences in a safe environment.
- Patience and Self-Regulation: Games that involve turn taking and waiting foster patience and self-regulation, teaching children to manage their emotions and behaviours in healthy ways.
- Communication: When children play with others, no matter what the activity, they get the chance to use and improve their communication skills. This will help them gain confidence to express themselves and interact well with others.
Practical Ways to Support Resilience Through Play
Here are some simple steps parents can take to incorporate resilience-building play into daily life:
- Encourage Open-Ended Play: Provide toys and activities that allow your child to create, experiment, and explore without rigid rules or expectations.
- Play Together: Join your child in their favorite activities. This not only strengthens your bond but also models positive social interactions.
- Increase Challenges Gradually: Offer games and activities with progressive difficulty to help your child learn to adapt and embrace new situations.
- Talk About Feelings: Use playtime as an opportunity to discuss emotions and teach your child to articulate their feelings and understand others’ perspectives.
- Celebrate Effort: Praise determination and problem-solving efforts, even if the outcome isn’t perfect. Highlighting your child’s perseverance builds confidence.
Beyond Play: Additional Strategies for Building Resilience
- Role Modelling: Children learn a great deal from observing their parents. When you encounter challenges, show your child how you handle stress and disappointment. Express your emotions calmly and talk about potential solutions. This transparency will help your child learn practical coping strategies and build trust between you, making them more likely to seek your advice in the future.
- Normalising Adversity: Shielding children from all difficulties can hinder their ability to cope with setbacks later in life. Instead, manageable levels of adversity can help them develop resilience. Teach your child that failure is a natural part of learning and share stories of people who have overcome challenges to achieve success. Encourage them to try new activities and celebrate their effort and bravery, regardless of the outcome.
- Building Self-Esteem: Confidence is a cornerstone of resilience. Provide positive reinforcement by focusing on effort rather than results. Encourage hobbies and interests that allow your child to develop skills and experience achievement. Reflect on their experiences together, discussing what they’ve learned and how they’ve grown. This fosters a growth mindset and helps them view challenges as opportunities for development.
- Teaching Stress Management: A structured routine can provide stability and reduce anxiety. Consider introducing mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga into your child’s day to help them stay calm and focused. Encourage positive self-talk by helping them reframe negative thoughts, and make sure they get regular physical activity and sufficient sleep.
Building resilience in children is an investment in their long-term mental health and well-being, and there are many ways we can help provide them with the tools they need to navigate life’s challenges. Remember, resilience isn’t about shielding children from difficulties but empowering them to face and overcome them. Through play and positive reinforcement, you can support your child in developing the confidence and adaptability they need to thrive in a complex world.